You're The Reason Why
by sleepyking
Summary: Craig and Tweek have been best friends for a long time. Tweek feels more. Creek fluff
1. I'm afraid to die

hey guys! this is my first ever fanfiction (or at least serious fanfiction) and i'd appreciate if you could leave some feedback for it ;v; everything is going to be in tweek's pov unless otherwise specified and i don't own any characters from south park, blah blah blah.

**chapter track**: you're the reason why i'm afraid to die - eagle seagull

* * *

**Chapter 1**: I'm afraid to die

My life's never been….. easy? Is that the right way to put it? I mean- _shit_, who's is? But… I mean, I guess I have 'problems', but... I don't like calling them that. It's just something normal that interferes with my life. Everyone has stuff like that. It's normal. Just, mine are in my head and other people's can be physical sometimes. Shit, I dunno- That's not important though.

Look, the thing is, there's this guy in a lot of my classes. People think he's mean and stuff and, well, he's one of my best friends- at least I think he is? But, I mean, he's really nice once you get to know him and people act like he's not. Like he only knows how to be an asshole. He only treats people like he does because they deserve it though! I-I mean, most of the time. Probably.

H-He's really great though, I swear! There's a lot of aspects to him that are nice too, like his smile, his hair, his e-

My thoughts are cut off by the soft sound of my phone vibrating on my desk. I scramble to grab it, and quickly check the illuminated screen. Speak of the devil, it's him.

**From craig**\- Yo where are you

**To** **craig**\- sh it i didnt reali ze the time ill be right out sorr y

**From craig**\- Its cool

Uh, right. I didn't mention this 'guy' happens to be Craig. Craig Tucker. He's w-well, one of my few friends. Along with Token and Clyde- I think at least. I really don't know if they like me. F-Fuck, they say they do but, you can never be too sure.

You can never be too sure with anyone.

Craig just so happens to be the one person who cared enough to convince his mom to bring me with him to school. That always made me smile.

Craig makes me smile.

The only thing about the whole thing that doesn't make me smile is, well, the whole car ride there. His mom spent the entire car ride screaming at him. She always does. She accuses him of things that I know aren't true and I can't stand it. Craig never seemed rattled, though. He would just plug his headphones in or stare out the window and, god, h-he's so cool.

S-Shit! I keep getting distracted! Craig's probably left by now, dammit!

I quickly throw on my green button up and button it messily, throw my backpack straps over my shoulders and run out to the kitchen as my heart races.

"Oh, there you are sweetie. Your little friend's waiting outside for you." My mother's soft voice always seems to calm me down, I'm not sure why. "I made you your favorite brew, hazelnut. Here's your lunch too. I hope you have a good day, dear."

As she hands over the cup and brown paper bag, she smiles delicately. I can't help but to smile back. I take them both from her hands and put the paper bag in my backpack before waving with my free hand and exiting through the screen door.

Craig's still there.

I let out a sigh of relief and open the back door to his mom's minivan before immediately being greeted with his monotone voice.

"What took you so long."

I slip into the car and put on my seatbelt and quickly respond, "I-I just lost track of time- _GAH!_\- I'm sorry!"

That's not exactly a lie, either. Sure my thoughts were _mainly_ to blame, but I _did_ lose track of what time it is. Losing track of time is easy when you're sitting in bed thinking about people you admire.

"Chill, it's not that big of a deal. I was just wondering."

His mom turned on the car accompanied with the loud sounds of the radio and heat all starting up at once. Craig always picks the stations, which is normally old rock, but today he flipped it over to an indie rock station. It wasn't too much different, though.

As we began driving, Craig's mom started up on the false accusations again.

But then, this song started to play.

"_You're the reason why I'm afraid to die, oh oh, oh, oh,_"

Even though her voice nearly overpowered the radio I could still hear it loud and clear. I felt something. Craig felt it too, I think.

"_You set flowers in my wounds, grow a garden in my side,_"

I noticed him crack a smile in the rearview mirror.


	2. I'm losing my mind

thank you for the reviews! you make me blush aw. i didn't realize how short that chapter was till i posted it so i'll try making the chapters longer idk! i also don't know how on top of this i'll be so i might have weird update spurts [shrugs]

**chapter track**: be calm - fun.

* * *

**Chapter 2**: I'm losing my mind

Craig's mom's endless stream of insults only comes to a close as we pull into the school parking lot. We only started the school year about a month ago and I already hate everything about the school. Being _freshmen_ in South Park High is near bad enough, but jesus, I can't walk two feet down the hall without being called a damn spaz.

Craig normally walks with me in the halls and gives people who call me names dirty looks, though.

I find it funny, though, since he's not a tall guy but he can easily strike fear into people's hearts.

I think that's one of the things I love the most about him.

S-Shit. Not love. N-No. Admire? Like? Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. _Fuck_.

God dammit Tweek, you're so lucky this storm is in your head.

The car doors surrounding me make a sudden _click_, jolting me out of my thoughts. Shaking, I scoot out of the car, closing it behind me on my way out, and run to walk beside Craig.

Before class actually starts, we have around 20-25 minutes of free time. The majority of the time we head straight to the library, normally either hanging out or copying off of Token's homework.

Oh, and by 'we' I mean me, Craig, Token and Clyde, if that wasn't clear.

I wish it was just me and Craig, though.

Normally when we're alone together we have long meaningful talks, but he's a lot more silent when he's with the rest of the gang.

I wonder why.

Craig, instead of leading me to the library, lead me to the boys bathroom and dragged me in with him. The entire bathroom was empty, and my entire body began quivering.

Fuck. W-What if he's going to tell me he hates me? Or t-tell me I'm annoying or spazzy or-

"Today in the car." He spoke softly. "Were you thinking about the song like I was, or."

"W-What?!" I'm pretty sure my face flushed red. "In w-what way? I-I mean- _AGH!_\- I saw you smile, s-so?"

"Relax, dude. Just respond honestly."

"I-I mean- _Erg!_\- sort of? M-Maybe? Should I have?"

He sighed softly. I couldn't tell if he was disappointed or frustrated.

"Look, dude. You're a really good friend of mine. You mean a lot to me. All I was asking is if thats how you felt."

It's hard to tell, with his voice. It's hard to tell what's honest and what isn't.

Either way, my face was probably the deepest shade of red that red can get.

"O-Oh! Of course! I-I'm sorry- _Agh!_\- It's j-just hard to tell s-sometimes!"

He looked down at my hands and held them. Craig Tucker. Craig Tucker is holding my hands.

"Wh-"

"You're shaking. More than usual. What's wrong."

"N-Nothing, it's just-"

Craig's phone was vibrating.

**From Clyde**\- where the fuck are you dude its been like 8 minutes people don't pee that long

**To Clyde**\- Maybe I was shitting

**From Clyde**\- gross dude

**From Clyde**\- hurry up we have a project to finish remember? im not doing that in class again

"Lets go. They're waiting for us."

"B-But-"

"Cmon."

He grabbed my hand again and held it all the way to the library. I'm pretty sure the expression on my face was a mixture of confusion and surprise the entire way there, but on some levels I was happy. Confused, but happy.

Upon entering, Clyde and Token both waved in response to seeing us, then got progressively more confused. Craig dragged me to the table they were at.

"Dude, sick, why'd you bring ol' Coffee bean with you to the bathroom?"

Coffee bean is an old nickname they, or more specifically, _Clyde_ gave me around middle school. It sort of stuck, but Clyde uses it the most.

"I needed to talk to him."

"Ew, but did he hear you pooping? Is that why his face is so red?"

Clyde poked at my cheeks and laughed. I frowned.

"I wasn't 'pooping', dude."

"But that's even worse! He would of seen your-"

"Can you guys chill out?" Token chimes in before the topic can get any worse than it already is. Thank god. "And besides, don't you have a project that you were going to do before class starts? There's about 5 minutes before the bell rings."

"Oh. _Fuck_." Clyde grabs Craig and drags him over to a large piece of posterboard and they immediately start working.

Meanwhile, I'm still standing stiff as a board while my face is red as hell and I try to comprehend everything that just happened.

Craig held my hand. Craig confronted me about the song we heard on the radio. Craig held my hand. Craig personally asked me what I felt towards him. _Craig held my hand_.

It's such a small gesture but it feels like so much to me.

Why does it mean this much to me?

* * *

English class. In all honesty, this is one of my favorite classes next to art. I love writing what comes to my head because there's so much for me to spill.

I have it with terrible, terrible people, though.

And by terrible people I mean Cartman. The last person I'd ever want to have a class with. Especially since Craig isn't with me.

Of course Cartman has his entire gang to hang out with. For some reason they have almost every class together. Jesus christ, they're lucky as fuck.

At least the rest of them are cool, though. I mean, I think. We only talked or did anything together a few times, but they seem pretty nice. Kenny was the only real one of them who talked to me from time to time afterwards. I'm not sure why, but I think I trust him.

The one issue with having Cartman in your class is you'll always be the target if you're 'abnormal'. Abnormal, in the handy Cartman dictionary, means anyone who isn't Cartman. I'm his favorite target.

"Hey, it's Tweakers!"

Once it starts, you'll never hear the end of it, because he will literally follow you from class to class until he's milked on insults.

"S'up spaz. Has the fresh air been treating you nicely? You didn't seem to get a lot of it last time I saw you."

I laid my head on my desk and groaned.

"Dude, that's not cool. Tweek's nice." The voice sounded like Kyle's.

"Yeah, seriously." Followed by Stan's.

"Yeah and how much have you talked to him since elementary?" Pause. "Exactly."

"Eric! Leave Mr. Tweak alone this instant!" The teacher snapped.

"Yeeeees Mrs. Trayford…" Cartman then skulked back to his seat. I doubt that's the last I'll hear from him today, though.

I lifted up my head and sighed with relief anyway. At least it's over for now.

"Hey dude, sorry about that. Cartman's a dick." Kyle patted me on the shoulder.

I let out a quick yelp and jumped. Cartman laughed.

"S-Sorry! I didn't know you were t-there! Uhm, t-thank you, though."

Kyle nodded acknowledgingly.

I smiled.

He smiled back.

I think I can trust him too.

* * *

After latin class came lunch. For some reason I was extra jittery. Maybe I'm still overthinking what happened this morning. Probably. That seems right.

Shit. What was Craig going to do this lunch.

I wonder if he'll bring me to the bathroom again. O-Or tell me what he really meant this morning.

Fuck. But what if he really meant what he said this morning? What if he was straight up asking for a confirmation of our friendship? But why would he bring me to the _bathroom_? _alone_?

I walked through the lunchroom doors and sat on one of the stools at our table. Everyone was there except for- you guessed it- Craig.

"W-Where's Craig? He's always here- _Agh!_\- before I do!"

"Oh, dude, he went outside. He says he wants you to go out there or something. Apparently it's important?"

"S-Shit. Thanks Clyde."

"No problemo Coffee bean."

I stuck my tongue out.

He did too. 

I hesitantly got up from the short stool and walked slowly towards the doors leading outside. He's visible in clear sight, he's just not facing the door.

Just like I predicted. J-Just like I fucking predicted. Fuck. Why does he want to talk to me privately again? Why?

I paused briefly in front of the double doors, exhaled deeply, and opened them. I immediately sat down next to him.

"U-Uhm- Why was it that you- _Arg!_\- wanted to talk to me again?"

He looked down and sighed briefly. It didn't sound like a bad sigh. It sounded more like a 'how the hell am i going to tell you this' sigh. I started shaking again.

"Tweek."

I looked over at him. He was still looking down, but his face was starting to turn red.

"I think. I think I kinda like you." He turned to me. "Like, a lot."


	3. I'm in love

ahhh you guys are so nice ! thank you all for your nice reviews, you're the best! i'm going to try and remember to add review thanks at the end of all chapters because it's the least i can do to thank you all!

_there'll be mentions of homophobia/mental and physical abuse in this chapter so tread carefully if that bothers you!_

**chapter track**: hold it in - jukebox the ghost

* * *

**Chapter 3**: I'm in love

I can't stop thinking about what Craig said today.

He loves me. He loves me. He _loves_ me. Craig Tucker LOVES me!

Or at least he said he likes me a lot.

I've been repeating what he said in my mind like a broken record.

I don't think I've ever been this happy.

My one issue is my reaction though, I think. It was all fine until I decided to start making high pitched noises and fell off the bench.

Followed my me running into the lunchroom and through to the bathroom. With my face red. Still making high pitched noises.

_Fuck_. Craig probably thinks I'm stupid or something. He probably doesn't even like me anymore.

He _did_ hold my hand on the ride home, though.

I don't think his mom liked that.

As soon as I closed the car door when I was dropped off I'm pretty sure I made out a clear "people are going to think you're gay" before walking through the door. Some slurs came after that. I didn't look behind me, but I think he flipped her off.

I never liked how Craig's family treated him.

I've never really been over his house much because not even _he_ likes his family, but the one time I had a sleepover with him I can remember what his dad said to him clearly.

"Jesus fucking christ Craig, if you don't stop hanging out with that twitchy ass friend of yours people are gonna think you're a fag. You're already a useless piece of shit, I don't need my son being any lower than that."

I want to love Craig more than his family has been able to.

* * *

After getting home, I quickly and excitedly told my mom about what happened today. She's always known I've had a crush on him, but I never thought it would be requited.

"Oh, honey, that's wonderful!" Her lips softly parted into a smile and she hugged me. I smiled too. "I doubt his mother took it lightly, though."

"_Agh!_\- N-No, she didn't..."

"That's too bad… I wish Laura was more understanding. Oh, well…" She sighs. "I'm glad you have a boyfriend now, though! I'm so, so happy for you, Tweek."

Boyfriend.

I smiled.

I quickly ran up to my room, shut my door behind me, and face planted into my bed. I yelled into my favorite star pillow because, god, today was a great day.

My phone buzzed in my pocket.

_Oh fuck_. I forgot I didn't check my phone all day after I ran off to the bathroom. I had notifications from nearly everyone I had traded numbers with.

I tapped Craig's name first.

**From craig**: Why did you run

**From craig**: Are you okay

**From craig**: I'm sorry

**-From 2:24:56 PM-**

**From craig**: Are you ignoring my texts

**From craig**: You seemed fine in the car

_Shit_.

**To craig**: ffuck im sorry i was to o scared to check my pho ne and s ee your response

**To craig**: u m. i guess it's approp riat e to tell you that i feel the same way

**To craig**: i've kind of . fel t the same wa y for a long time.

**To craig**: like. earl y 5th gr ade long time.

**To craig**: th e only reason why i reacted the wa y i did w as because i was re ally really happy

I exhaled. My heart was beating _really_ quickly.

I looked at all of my other texts.

**From token**: You okay? What happened during lunch today?

**From clyde**: did craig finally tell you hes gay for you

**From kenny**: what the fuck. what happened today?

At this point I don't bother responding to anyone but Craig. I can explain to everyone in bulk later.

Craig's the one that matters the most right now.

**From craig**: Thats okay

**From craig**: I'm glad you're okay

**From craig**: I'm really glad you feel the same way too

I smiled. It's weird to see Craig actually expressing emotions like these, but it's kind of nice.

**From craig**: I love you

I smiled even more.

My face probably flushed red again, but that doesn't matter right now.

**To craig**: i l ov e you too

I dropped my phone on my bed and fell back on my pillow. I felt so happy. Fuck, I feel so happy I might actually _cry_. My screen lit up again.

**From craig**: Can I stay the night

**From craig**: Sorry if that's sudden

**To craig**: ye ah of course! ho w come?

**From craig**: Dad won't leave me alone

**From craig**: I'll be over in a minute

Now I start to worry. Thomas Tucker isn't exactly a gentle fellow, especially when it comes to this stuff.

I hope he's okay.

It's not even a minute and Craig's already at the doorstep ringing the doorbell.

"Honey, your boyfriend is here!" My mom calls up the staircase.

I wonder if he was waiting out there before even asking.

I _really_ hope he's okay.

I ran downstairs and took a deep breath. As I opened the door, I went to choke out a small 'hey', but before I even got the chance he kissed me.

I've never kissed anyone. Until now, at least.

He pulls away.

"Hey," He said softly.

I don't respond or, rather, I can't. My eyes are wide, both as a response to what just happened, and also the sight of his eye.

It's bruised and swollen. Both of them seem red and watery.

"Craig h-holy shit- _Ack!_\- what happened?!"

"...Can we go to your room first," The tone of his voice seemed to drop two tones.

I nod.

* * *

Upon entering my room, Craig both closes and locks me door. He has absolutely nothing with him besides his bruised eye. I can't help but worry. I worry so fucking much. I know there's always been a reason to hate his family. Please, please be okay.

He sits on my bed and puts his head in his hands. His entire body begins to shake and he begins to cry.

This is the first time I've ever seen him cry.

I sat next to him and began shaking. _Fuck_. What the fuck did he do to him.

"He beat me! He fucking beat me!" His voice was shaky, and for once actually showed obvious emotion. "Who the fuck beats their son?"

"D-Dude… That's- _Agh!_\- fucked up." I was actually lost for words. He can't go home. I won't let him go back to that family. "Y-You shouldn't go back there."

"But where else am I supposed to go?" His face was drenched in tears.

"S-Stay here?"

"Do you think- _sniff_\- your mom would be okay with that?"

"I-I'm going to go ask. D-Do you want me t-to- _Erk!_\- get you ice?"

"Yeah. Thanks, Tweek."

He kissed me again.

If his family won't love him, I will.

* * *

**special thanks to my reviewers**: lucy (icouldbutwhyevenbother), sam (lilykinz200), andy, and midnightluve! you guys are the best!


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